The Artful Dodgers

Parks and Recreation: Operation Ann

It’s that time of year again, everyone’s favourite non holiday: Galentine’s Day!!! Except this year it was kind of overshadowed by its unattractive, insignificant and useless sibling: Valentine’s Day.

Scavenger Hunt

Ben and Leslie celebrated their first Valentine’s together as only they (Leslie) would… A scavenger hunt with tricky romatic-ish clues that led to the next clue, and then the next, finally (and timely) arriving at the place of looove.

Clue 1: A cryptex. The combination code – a
word that captures the essence of their 3rd date.

Solution: Ron + Hammer

Clue 2: “The murals with this heart you see, look to the first and there your next clue will be.”

Solution: “No food finer, clue 3 at Jay Jay’s Diner.” + Whipped Cream

Clue 3: “Something wicked this way comes, when you pursue a book with your thumbs. Go to the one who succumbs I’ll be attached with a little gum.” WTF?!

Solution: RON!

Clue 4: Nerd snow globe Kevin says “It’s under one of the snow globes.”

Solution: I think Ben got the wrong snow globe..

Ron owned the hunt! So much so that he admitted to loving riddles, squealing like a fat kid eyeing a plate of ribs.

Operation Ann

Sadly, Leslie became a little sidetracked by the beautiful spinster, Ann, who for a long time is havin’ no lovin’. So in true Leslie style she called the team together and initiated Operation Ann. Ron, who has never been one for speeches, kicked things off: “Thank you all for being here, let’s get started.” but of course he was talking to his gigantic plate of ribs. Eww Ron! Really? In a meeting? A couple of ribs, fine, but a whole plate?
Leslie assigned everyone with the task of bringing a single man, suitable for Ann, to the publically funded couples dance that evening. A few questions were asked to gauge what type of man would be right for her. For example, “innocent” Tom asked whether Ann had a little indian in her? Jerry, quite perplexed, said no. T- Money slammed back “would she like sooooome??” (spoiler alert: YES! Yes she would).

Meanwhile, at the dance Chris turned out to the be literally the worst DJ of all time. His music included a tune worthy of a suicidal monk. Worst. Ever. Though I reckon Orin would have been LOVING it, or whatever emotion he feels that is the equivalent. The only person that did worse than bring Orin as a potential lover was Jerry, who bought a male gigalo. DAMN IT JERRY!

Oh wait, maybe Jeff was a worse potential. He started of well: “You didn’t tell me that [Ann] was so beautiful…” Then shit got messed up! ” …Not as beautiful as my sister, but you know the law” errrgghhh vomit.

Then there was Harris, 33, who lives with his parents and is a self acclaimed man piece.

Bill started off by saying he was an amateur juggler and it about ended there too. No one is going to get with a juggler. Sad but true.

The night ended well, despite its shaky beginning. We got to see some classic Chris dance moves to LMFAO. After cheating throughout the night, Ben finally got to Lil Sebastian’s monument on time. Ann got some Indian in her (foreshadowing). So maybe Valentine’s day isn’t so stupid and lame and redundant. Or maybe it IS!

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